Should Family Take Priority Over The Rights of the Individual Family Member?

True or false? "Family and honor should take priority over the rights of the individual family member." How do you think An-mei and her mother would respond? Would they think the statement is true or false? Would they be somewhere in-between?


     According to the story "Scar"  from Joy Luck Club, I think that An-Mei's response will be in between. At certain points, she would think that family ans honor is called respecting her culture. From the time that her mother came back to her, she starts to understand what happened and believe that her mother made the right choice. An-Mei was always told stories from her Popo about her mother, but her Popo never really mentions her name. As An-Mei grew up with her Popo she was lead to the belief that she should always honor the family and not follow the path that her mother followed or else she would be an disgrace to her family. 


     When An-Mei's mother came to her life again as her Popo was very sick, her mind changes and she starts to think that her mother really needed her individual rights. An-Mei starts to understand the conditions that her mother was going through. She starts to agree that at times you honoring your family can be tough. She thinks that her mother was very brave and she got her individual rights. Although she was a disgrace to her family, she came back in the end. She gave honor to her mother before she died. She did something that was painful as a way to make her mother understand why she had to leave: 

 "Even though I was young, I could see the pain of the flesh and the worth of the pain. This is how a daughter honors her mother. It is shou so deep it is in your bones. The pain of the flesh is nothing. The pain you must forget," (Tan 48).

This quote tells that An-Mei learned that her mother left for a reason and her individual rights was very important. Even though she was raised with her Popo and her auntie, she never really disgraced her family. As she remembers about the past and what happened to her, she understands her mother more. And the point where she sacrifice her flesh, it was the thing that really surprised An-Mei.

     If An-Mei's mother were to answer this question, she would say that we should have our individual life because we are the one who should choose our own decision. We should be able to break away from that command that family members have given, and choose the right road to follow. I agree very much with her mother and how she got her freedom.

     This could be answered in different forms and because we all have different opinions about this question, what would you do if you were stopped from continuing your decision in life?